This morning, October 2 was a had my mood turned upside-down. I was talking with Art this morning about how disconnected I feel from the autumn season. This has always been my favorite time of year and for the last 14 years California has me stumped, I can see the suttle changes of light and air and I follow along with the seasonal activities but I am programed for a big switch that is a clear break from summer. I was looking at the photos on soulemama blog of the leaves, apples and woolens after having an inside-intensive week, albeit my choosing, and and even crazier week in the car. I could rant on about the crazy drivers I encounterd but will only mention that in one day, less than two hours apart, I saw two people almost hit in cross walks right in front of me, one a pregnant lady. Anyway, I was weepy this morning and my sweet husband did his best to console me, mostly by reminding my I'd be in Virginia NEXT week, ooo I need to write an entry about this. I did what always lights a fire under my feet, I started cleaning the house, and beginning in the children's room. I was inspired all of a sudden to make a nature table on top of their little drawer cabinet Santa gave them last year for their treasures. I used to have a big one over their book case but was tired of how it grew and thought this contained spaces would be perfect. I cleared off their random treasures on the top and did the Waldorf method of placing a seasonal colored cloth as the "stage" - Eli's orange and Eva's yellow. I picked apples from our tree, which made me feel better, and cut some leaves from felt. I scattered some small leaves but plan to gradually add more as the season progresses. Who need real leaves? I was inspired to make a make-shift tee pee from a dead branch from two Easters ago I've yet to remove from our deck. All of a sudden I was in a flurry making these mini tee pees. If I'd known how cute they'd turn out, I would have taken my time, instead I was radomly cutting crazy-shaped triangles from the cloth, quickly stitching the sides. Anyway, the children were both pleased with their seasonal space and I felt a calm come over me, the kitchen remained a mess but who cares, NOT ME.
My journal began as a virtual baby book for my children and has shifted recently to include my daily life as a mother and a woman emerging from the early years of small children. I no longer bemoan my lack of a creative life, on closer observation it is all a creation.