Wednesday, March 24, 2010

has it really been that long?

I love my fans - all three of you. It was great hearing from all of you that you missed my blog this week. So here I am with promise to back-blog what I've been up to in my absence. I can partly blame this hiatus on two things #1 -Robert, my acupuncturist extraordinaire. He stripped me a bit of my hyper-state that I've lived with for most of my adult life and placed me in a new truly mellow state. The first few visits had me taking a break from a lot and done so with a nonchalance that I'm not used to. The first three days after an appointment all my obsessive behaviors are gone, I walk past the dirty kitchen riddled with dishes, napkins and crusty silverware, step over the socks and clothes strewn along the hallway, crawl in to my unmade bed at night, all this as happy as a clam. Usually this state of my house would haunt me, make me wonder if I can indeed fall asleep with such disarray and wake up crabby at the mere site of this unrest. Well I'm just as happy to report I'm even more balanced after two months of Robert, my house is back in order but done without a frenetic frenziness and I'm getting things done around here so you just wait and see what I've been up to!

#2 a new guilty pleasure. B.R.  (before Robert) I have been suffering insomnia off and on, more on than off, over the last 7 years, since my darling bebes entered my life. I never recovered from the sleep deprivation I suffered after two consecutive years of infants in the house and Eli not sleeping through the night until he was 4. Look back on my early entries and they were all about sleep.  A few months ago in the middle of the night I found a show on Netflix: Watch Instantly (since we do not have T.V. anymore) that could help me fall asleep because it was so bad, McLeods Daughters. After a few weeks of this sleep-inducing boredom, my heart-rate would no longer slow-down but on the contrary, speed-up when I would hear the theme music. All my evenings have been filled with watching these Australian jilleroos run their farm Drovers Run next door to their beefy male neighbors. I've been obsessed with these new friends of mine, sometime I catch myself and my thoughts have an Australian accent. I've only confessed this to a few people until now. At moments watching the show I'd think I'd want to shout my love for this show from a mountain-top, tell all my friends about the great discovery and then an episode would take a turn for the embarrassing and I could not dare confess the time I waste on this show. A few weeks ago I had an epiphany that put this in to perspective for me, I think it's the alternate life I'd like to live, no not in the Australian outback, but in Virginia, on a farm, with good friends. I love my life here in San Francisco, so many days I need to pinch myself to realize I'm not dreaming this good life in this beautiful city but at night I need to escape to the cows escaping the paddock, mucking the stalls, sitting around a farmhouse table with great girlfriends that I've known for a long time.


  1. I love you! I'm happy you're back!
    My girlfriends' blogs are making me tearful today. I'm having one of those great moments where I love everyone SO MUCH.

    I especially loved [and laughed at] the reference to a great show that you want to pull people into, and then hestitate because it takes a turn for the embarrassing. And, you know, who wants to be accountable for that...?

    Kisses. The ones with the big smacky sounds.

  2. You know that I'm all over moving to a farm in Virginia with friend! When are we moving?

  3. May I be the annoying wanna-be friend who lives next door to The Girlfriend Farm? And can you please bring Robert the Acupuncturist with you? I have many irksome habits I would like him to tackle. So glad you are back, Jan!